Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
