I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
