You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
