im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
