i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
