i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
