He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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