you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
