i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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