don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
