Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it was like eating out sand paper
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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