ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I touched a dick in church today
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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