He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
