Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
