I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
