Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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