I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
