Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
