Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
