im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
