Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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