This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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