My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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