By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
