the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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