I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
