me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
