hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
