barbara walters just said penis...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
