I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
