i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
