I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
