I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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