i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
