Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
