just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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