Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Houston, we have a squirter
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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