i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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