so that wasnt chicken after all
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
