I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
They have beer where we have blood.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
