Betty ford says i'm here all night
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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