glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
