please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
