it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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