Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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