Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
