Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We had sex on a dog bed..
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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