Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
