Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well I just put wine in my tea
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
