i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
