Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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